Who Says You Can't Go Home Again?

I drive back to North Georgia after a day in the Alabama sun.  It was 95 when I left Montgomery, Alabama. I had lunch with a group of wonderful girls from high school and once again remember how lucky I am to have grown up in a different time. Our problems of pimples and boys and grades were nothing compared to what we see now in life.  Usually when I top the hill on Hwy 575 in Canton, Georgia, I see the mountains and I feel a sense of home. Tonight though nothing seemed to make me at ease. I am lonely beyond belief. Maybe its the fear of my empty house or maybe its that my grand puppies are gone. No one is waiting for me. Don't misunderstand, I love my home.  I believe it was Thomas Merton that said "you can't be neurotic in front of a bunch of trees".  My home is a bunch of trees, against a mountain with a lake and wildlife abundant. I believe it is the beauty of North Georgia that has spared my sanity during the recent "unpleasantness" and the two years now of "aftermath". The deer and bear and small animals I see know more of life and death than I do.  They were made first by God and have know this world longer than any man.They seem closer to the source of all knowledge and they have helped to give me a sense of wholeness.  They were my first friends in small town where before I had none. They have served as my guide to finding some peace when I could have easily found only distress. And I will be glad to see them and to water my garden and sprinkle some seeds for the birds.  But I will do it alone.  I have good friends now in Georgia and I do something of value in my volunteer job. There is though nothing that takes the place of human contact.   A kind word, a hug, a call to say hello.  On my trip back from Alabama, I have called a handful of people just to keep that comfort of home alive.  But as the sun sets in the distance and I turn into my drive I notice the temperature is down to 86; but for a moment, I think I will cry. I miss my life before. The life I used to have.  I miss my old friends.  I miss my family.  I know that God has brought me to a place of complete beauty and peace in order that I will rest and forget and remember.  For all I have lost I am grateful, for my old friends, my old home, my old life. But for all I have gained I am also thankful.  Thankful that I have had a change of life that will forever change my heart.   Isn't it wonderful to come home?