Date 1 On Un-matched.com

I followed a Harley to Calhoun, Georgia, to meet my first March.com date, Jerry. The girl on the back of  the Harley, now forever called Bubba 's Bike in my head, had made a terrible fashion mistake by wearing a tube top with her low riders. Anyone behind her could have told her this.  She also had chosen a helmet with fake long, pink pigtails complete with ribbons to compliment her ensemble.  I should have turned around at the first safe intersection believing this to be a sign; but, instead I went to lunch at the Cracker Barrel with a former rocket scientist.  Anyone who ever uses that term to describe themselves or someone else doesn't understand that is not a compliment.  It may mean the person is smart, but smart is a term loosely applied when talking social graces.  When applied to a real rocket scientist who worked at Red Stone Arsenal,  its a warning to not go to lunch.  Not only can't you understand them talking, you don't want to understand them.  The intricate details of repairing a trailer hitch becomes mind boggling. You just want to go home after you eat your Chicken and Dumplings.  I can tell you almost everything about Jerry; from his tragic parents divorce at the age of 8 to what his sister likes to wear to what he had for supper last night.  He asked me if I was really divorced.  And should I sit with my back to the door instead of him. I have talked to Jerry for over an hour on the phone and never had to lick my lips.  Jerry never stops talking about himself.  When I asked him about his Match name, Atticus, he related the entire "To Kill a Mockingbird" story line.  After a complete description of the book and who played which parts in the movie, noting he thought he looked a little like Gregory Peck, "not",  I smiled and thought to myself, now is not the time to tell you my daughter is Harper Lee's cousin.  So I drove back full of dumplings and sick of Jerry.