Birdhouses 101

Just before Christmas I had a call from a local carpenter who asked if I would be interested in becoming his assistant.  We talked for several minutes and he explained that he needed someone to do some painting, pin striping on furniture and lettering of some signs for his business.  Hold things steady.  I knew I would be really good at that.  Being the completely trusting individual that I am, I said yes and told him to call after the holidays and we'd talk again.  I spent the next few days running background checks, credit reports and talking to everyone in town. Checking the local papers for crime reports and going on line to check out the Sheriff's Department"s Most Wanted List.   Of course I checked out my man dictionary which never fails to provide me with the real story.  I  looked up "wood working".  Under the definition for wood working was "likes to work with wood".  Now I knew that had to be wrong so I tried several different approaches.  Man who likes to work with wood, Man who says something about carpentry, Man who mentions he likes to build things in wood.  Over and over again I got the same definition. "Man who likes to work with wood".  Nothing with men could be that simple. But as I said I am very trusting.  I met with my new carpenter friend, George, and was pleasantly surprised to meet someone who "works with wood".  It would be an understatement to say George is unusual.  And very talented.  He has a barn filled with projects, table bases, tops, legs (not human), tons of different kinds of drawer pulls and piece after piece of furniture that showed great potential but was unfinished.  George already says I am a slave driver.  I see us becoming famous for our quirky little tables and corner hutches.  Of course, I have only built birdhouses, but I have now built several birdhouses. I have found the entire thing an adventure.  You can build 2 birdhouses out of one fence board.  Simple cuts, nails and some imagination.  I have also learned that different birds need different size holes for their comfort,  its best to clean the houses of old nest each spring, and a perch is optional. The most interesting fact though is that just as with men and women, the female bird selects the nest.  If a male bird tries to force a female into a certain nest or house, the female will become very aggressive and the male may even loss his mate.  Same with women.   I've never seen a man end up happy in a marriage in which he insisted on a houses contrary to his wife's wishes.  So the saying " If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" also appears to apply in the bird world.  George and I are teaching a birdhouses class here in town on Friday afternoons.  Of course, I am just his assistant, but I am learning all I can and look forward to the day when I get to run the table saw. Power tools are a big turn on.  I better check my male dictionary again.  Hadn't thought of that one.  I will admit though I really think George is just a wood worker, a carpenter.  I have to say though last week he asked if I would like to get a cappuccino after class.  George said, " Want to run down to the QT and get a cup?  They make a good cappuccino".  I pleasantly declined since I don't do caffeine after lunch so I can't tell you if that's true or not. I really am not sure if it was a "date" you know.  I mean, I guess it could have been. If  it was, well,  I am certain it was the first time I'd ever been asked out to a filling station.  But I do just love my birdhouses and I am making a good assistant.