The True Meaning of Grace

Last night it snowed, again. My record of being quarantined here in the snow is 6 days. I look out over the beauty of the mountains and I am moved by the quiet of this white morning. And the reality of my alone-ness. I would say loneliness but it sounds pitiful and I am not a pitiful person. Being a person who prides herself on resiliency I immediately think that I am grateful to be warm and have my second cup of coffee. Yesterday I awoke to find myself in my own little igloo.  I immediately thought I had lost my electricity but the familiar hum of my now constant companion, a cool air vaporizer, said no. I adjusted the thermostat, ran to the gas logs, checked the pilot on the stove, all coming to the same conclusion. I was out of propane. After four calls, a trip to the propane office, and sitting by the phone half the day, the young man came and filled my tank. We discussed the double homicide in Jasper where I live, the harshness of this winter and my fear of gas.  He patiently lit my pilots again and hurried on to others who were like me, fearing the impending storm, and the huge bill he tenderly laid on my kitchen table. Now I am warm. And filled with a true sense of gratitude. I won't say that I didn't worry. I cried, fussed, cussed, laid on the floor and reasoned with God that I have had a lot on me and that I am truly trying in all that he presents to me. But still the bill for almost $900 did not evaporate in the blue flame of my gas logs. After an afternoon of  gnashing of teeth, I made soup and watched American Idol and crawled into bed to read.  A terrible head cold has ended my promising Zumba career but I am determined to wiggle again next week. Within moments the phone ran and unexpectedly, God answered my prayer with the voice of an angel telling me that an unexpected check was coming.  While I am certain God does not usually answer our requests for what we want, He does seem to figure out what we need. My life has not been easy and I would put it up against any soap opera character, past or present. To say it has been a complete and utter mess would be an understatement. But I  know that I have been blessed over and over by the true meaning of Grace. A gift that was not deserved nor expected.  I will pay the bill, have some left over and send a small check to Pickens Animal Rescue.  I am alone.  Sometimes I am lonely.  But I am not abandoned.  Now if God will just think about finding me a date. There is nothing in my life that a good manicure and a strong helmet will not fix.