The Definition of Insanity

Craziness or madness in a series of events and behaviors in human actions or thoughts.  That's the definition of insanity.  Scott Peck, in my favorite non fiction, The Road Less Traveled, says that it is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.   They say in any given situation or gathering of people, one in three individuals is actually suffering from some form of mental illness.  Now we're not talking "crazy about shoes" or "insane over chocolate".  We are talking mental illness as in crazy as a loon or needs to be on medication. I know that while I am a somewhat rational person most of the time; there have been occasions in my life where I have reacted or even just acted completely insane.  Point in fact.  Yesterday.  Now what I am about to tell you does not qualify me for the nut house or even some intense sessions on a psychologist's couch.  But it does qualify me for a little off. I want a dog.  I dream about having a dog.  I volunteer at Pickens Animal Rescue.  I send my grandpuppies presents and my former dogs of divorce presents.  I want a dog. So yesterday I see the most darling puppy.  Looks like he is probably some mix of border collie and something a little smaller.  Paws indicate he will not be a giant.  One black eye. Wiggly.  Sweet and cuddly.  Just want I would want.  I have been talking dog for a year and half.  Ever since I came to the conclusion that my dogs of divorce will not be allowed the generous visitation rights to which I have been insured, I have wanted a dog.  So, now I see this puppy.  I hold it and love it and smell its little sweet puppy breath.  But do I go directly to the shelter and get a puppy? No, I email my ex husband and ask for the one hundredth time, could I please get my dogs back for the two weeks while he will be in N. Dakota on business.  In his answer, he tells me of all the trials of taking care of the dogs.  He will have to get a dog sitter which will be costly.  He can't count on anyone to show up and feed them. He arrived home late last week from being gone for over two weeks and the dogs had no food in the house. His power bill was being run up to an unbelievable amount by abuse. Sounds like a problem for him, right?  Now I have asked this same question for one and half years.  I have always gotten the same answer.  Nothing has changed.  My ex husband has not become kinder or more open to making a small concession.  Thoughtful. The distance between south Alabama and north Georgia has not gotten shorter.  I have not inherited or bought a jet, a blimp, a helicopter or the ability to fly any of the above.  No, nothing has changed.  You have just seen and heard a perfect example of insanity.  Doing the same thing and expecting different results. The answer was "NO".   But because this insanity has resurfaced in my life it has inspired me to tell you about my divorce.  I will willingly put my divorce up against any divorce in the country.  Charlie Sheen, Kelsey Grammer, or Sandra Bullock have absolutely nothing on me. Mine is the stuff daytime TV was made for and it would make a great Lifetime movie.  So for the next few blogs, get your big girl panties on, drag out your snuggie  and a box of chocolates ( or a glass/bottle of wine) and hang on for what I believe to be a ride. Its the roller coaster from divorce hell heading out on the next posting.