Its the Autumn Of My Years and The Nuts Are Falling

For almost 3 years I have wanted to talk openly, face to face with my ex-husband.  If someone asked me why, I would tell them I needed closure. I wanted to say things to his face I have never had an opportunity to say.   Today I was talking very lightly with someone and they asked that if he called me tomorrow and wanted me to meet him half-way, to talk, face to face, would  I want to drive for two hours to do it.  I said "No, I don't have time to waste or money for gas".  That was the first time I have ever said that and felt that way.  In 3 years.  I have  realized after being on Zoosk for a month(which feels like 3 years), Match for 6 months, and The Road to Insanity for 3 years, that if you are a man (or woman?) and alone at 60-65 because you wanted a divorce;  there is something wrong with you.  I understand the death of a spouse, I have suffered that terrible loss.  But to decide at this point in life to divorce; well, you have to be nuts.  OK,  you could have one divorce,  maybe two. Some reasonable excuse like she joined the circus or the mafia.  But if you've had 3 or 4, even 5, you are crazy and some kind of nut.  I admit to two, but both were because my husband was sleeping with someone else, openly.  That may indicate that there is something wrong with me, but its not an inability to commit.  Men who are divorced repeatedly into their mature years, are nuts. That's my final word on that. Now I need to check my Zoosk email.

DeJa Vue All Over Again

Once again we read a story about a man who has ruined his life and embarrassed himself and his family by inappropriate sexual conduct.  Its not a new story, in fact, its as old as man himself and yet, kings are brought down by it, presidents embarrassed and everyday men, captured and destroyed by  its appeal.  I usually find that the Internet and Viagra are part of the culprits but to be honest men have always been pigs and women have always  been willing to feed at the trough. The thing I find so amazing is that men don't learn and stop doing this to themselves.  When they are in a position of power and when they know that should they get caught it will effect their lives and their billfolds so substantially; they blindly proceed full steam ahead.  Its almost like they retreat to the teenager who felt that they were so invincible that they could defy death and sometimes gravity only to realize at the last moment they were headed over a cliff.  We seem to be just like the poor dumb creatures who don't recognize the baited field, the danger of a fast moving car, the threat of a tiger slowly moving through tall grass in Africa.  We are just poor dumb creatures also.  Then the women end the affair and  write the book that tells the story and end up making the dough and getting the recognition they wanted in the first place. DeJa Vue.