Its the Autumn Of My Years and The Nuts Are Falling

For almost 3 years I have wanted to talk openly, face to face with my ex-husband.  If someone asked me why, I would tell them I needed closure. I wanted to say things to his face I have never had an opportunity to say.   Today I was talking very lightly with someone and they asked that if he called me tomorrow and wanted me to meet him half-way, to talk, face to face, would  I want to drive for two hours to do it.  I said "No, I don't have time to waste or money for gas".  That was the first time I have ever said that and felt that way.  In 3 years.  I have  realized after being on Zoosk for a month(which feels like 3 years), Match for 6 months, and The Road to Insanity for 3 years, that if you are a man (or woman?) and alone at 60-65 because you wanted a divorce;  there is something wrong with you.  I understand the death of a spouse, I have suffered that terrible loss.  But to decide at this point in life to divorce; well, you have to be nuts.  OK,  you could have one divorce,  maybe two. Some reasonable excuse like she joined the circus or the mafia.  But if you've had 3 or 4, even 5, you are crazy and some kind of nut.  I admit to two, but both were because my husband was sleeping with someone else, openly.  That may indicate that there is something wrong with me, but its not an inability to commit.  Men who are divorced repeatedly into their mature years, are nuts. That's my final word on that. Now I need to check my Zoosk email.