Turning 60

This week I will turn 60.  I can remember thinking that was really old.  I was right.  My wonderful children gave me a Kindle for my birthday, bird feeders and I gave myself a cruise.  I can't afford it but I did get a wonderful deal that I couldn't resist and I need to see the sun;   so I set sail tomorrow.  As to my age, I can't say that I am happy about being old, but I can say that I like my life, I love my friends and family and I have good health.  I was running out of my supplements today and went to the health food store to stock up before leaving on my trip.  I realized while standing in the checkout line that a class was being taught and two and a half hours later, I was still there.  The class was on homeopathic medication and kinesiology.  Much of it went over my head.  I do not understand biophysical connotations or quantum physics or the geothermic energy.  I do though  believe that we have all we need to be well and that the body wants to heal.  I believe that the body is designed to be healthy and much of what ails us is brought on by our environment and our mental state.   I don't understand why I experienced weakness when what I needed in certain formulas was applied to my body.  But I will use the suggestions and follow the protocol to see if it is effective.  If I feel better, it was effective.  I do understand immunity and had just this week seen a special concerning a new avenue of treatment for cancer by helping the immune system identify and fight mutant genes before they become cancer invaders which spread through our bodies.  I get acidic and alkaline.  In the meantime I will see the sun and walk on the beach and listen to the gulls and be glad that I am here to see my 60th year roll around.  When I return I will read up on the 200 year old science that concocted this medication and try to understand why a 200 year old medication is called a "breakthrough".  In the meantime, I am off to see the sun.

Darn Those Dear and Deer

Sometimes you know you should have stayed in bed.  Sometimes you feel you should have died in your sleep. Its been that kind of week.  First, my computer crashed, again.  I told my computer guy that my neighbors are all thrilled that finally a man was showing up at my door step on a regular basis.  He blushed.  My tech savvy children have told me not to open suspicious emails but the one I got was too interesting not to take the chance and peek.  You can't just peek at a virus.  Before you know what hit you, you are down for the count and running a fever.  This email was from "American Airlines" confirming my ticket and flight to Anchorage, Alaska, on January 26.  If you have read my blog, you will recognize that as the home of the 'hoe who stole my man. Mingle that with the fact that I had a charge on my credit card two years ago from California (where the 'hoe is supposed to reside) to Las Vegas (where her family is supposed to live) and you understand that my curiosity was peaked.  Now I know what happened to that darn cat who had too much curiosity. My computer was killed though instead of me. Not sure if that's better or not. Anyway, I am back in business just in time to see the final results of my Turbo-tax form and cry and to write this weekly blog. I did discuss the virus with my Ex, who I still think of as "Dear" sometimes when I am feeling really desperate late at night or at completely weak moments during the day when I worry about money.  He assured me he had no knowledge of either the email nor the 'hoe's whereabouts.  He did mention that his computer actually crashed on the same day due to a "virus".  I do not believe in coincidence except when to suggest it gets me out of trouble.  Now if I can figure out how to discourage the deer from killing every tiny green leaf in my garden before spring gets here, I will have had a very productive and interesting week.  Today I found a large doe actually eating the birdseed out of the china tea cups hanging around my garden area. She went out of my garden, over my fence like it wasn't even there.  I have put up as many distractions above and around my fence as possible and tomorrow I will purchase one of those products that smells terrible but supposedly keeps deer out. I wonder if I could spray it on my computer and it would deter 'hoes and woes.

The Deer Aren't Always Dear

Yesterday I passed Santa on the street in Jasper.  He was driving a Toyota. Tonight our cloudy, rainy days will give way to winter weather and possible snow and it will feel like Christmas if not look like it. Many in our neighborhood still have their lights up and wreaths on the doors. We have barely seen the sun since Christmas.  I have read that no one above Atlanta gets any Vitamin D from November until March because of the lack of direct sunlight.  Now the temperatures will fall and we will have daffodils blooming in the snow again.  The deer in my neighborhood seem to be fairing better since their number has been depleted by over 60 and the snow has fallen but not managed to stick. Yesterday though they jumped my fence and half destroyed my garden.  They ate my camellia down  to the roots, not leaving even one leaf let alone the hand full of buds I was looking forward to seeing open up and create the beautiful red blooms.  They even ate a winter fern that wasn't supposed to be on their extensive buffet. My one lonely azalea was pulled up by the roots and the few blooms on my pansies were nibbled.  Its difficult for a true Southern gardener to live without camellias and azaleas and for me not having those in abundance has been very hard.  Now I won't have them at all.  They are one of the few things I truly loved about February.  In South Alabama I had a yard filled with over 80 different blooming shrubs. Living in the mountains has its good days and bad.  Maybe I have misspoken about Hunters.  Today I can see how a few less deer could be a good thing.

Playing a Hunch and Wishing I Hadn't

I have a confession to make.  I am  pretty good at hunches.  Not the kind that helps you win the lottery or pick a good horse at the track, not even pick a good husband or a pair of shoes that won't kill your feet; but  the kind that helps you catch a man cheating and know when someone is lying to you. Case in point, I knew my ex was dating someone. I have always believed in going with the gut on things, following your instincts and if those fail, hire an investigator.  Usually though you can just be sneaky and find out what you need to know. I just knew my ex had a girlfriend, so of course I tricked him into admitting it. I would tell you how but then I would have to shoot you, and I probably don't even know where most of you live. So I trick him and find out the truth.  Then I am sick because now I know what I knew I knew all along but wished I didn't know what I now know. If that's hard to read image how hard it was to type. Since my alimony is late it gave me the perfect reason to bitch, moan and otherwise lash out at him. Its not that I care, its just that I am jealous. No, not of the girl, but the fact that men can always find someone. I recently read about a study where pictures of men where shown to women and they were to rate them. Consistently men who were rated 3 or 4, rated themselves as an 8 or 9.  The opposite proved true with women. Beautiful 8s or even l0s, rated themselves poorly. Men just think they are God's gift to women and over and over, we stupid women pretend to agree.  I found myself sitting around singing that song from Funny Girl "I'd Rather Be Blue Thinking of You, I'd Rather Be Blue Oooover  Yooou, Than  Be Hap-hap-happy With Somebody E-llllll-se".  After the tongue lashing I sent a "I'm sorry" letter.  I explained to him that I am just not doing well dating.  I find that my choices are either Mountain Men like Jeremiah Johnson (not played by Robert Redford) or Hillbillies like that Get 'er Done Guy(played by the Get 'er Done Guy).  You know if I am finding the Gay Guys the most appealing for me, there's a problem in my dating future. I told him if he met someone he thought I might like, to please give them my number.  I am really more than willing to be happy with someone else.  As to the young woman he's dating, I can certainly understand why she would want my ex.  He is just too good a catch to pass up.  He's just started Medicare and his Social Security checks are arriving monthly and he's a habitual cheater. What's not to like!

It Was Just Peachy!

Lucky girl that I am, I spent New Year's at the Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl.  My good brother and sweet sister-in-law included me and kept me from spending New Year's in front of the TV, alone.  I understand the Peach Bowl is not considered, in football circles, as a Big Deal, but everyone except Virginia fans had a great time.  Not to mention, they actually started the game with a prayer.  After watching Brown(or sounds like???) College's majorettes strut up Peachtree in the parade and again in the pre-game entertainment, a prayer seemed right fitting. Those bodies that were covered wore skin tight shinny purple, full body things and those not so covered were in skinny almost see through, high cut leotards.  I do believe that they could easily find work on a stage in Las Vegas and use the same costumes. All they needed was the pole.  I am sure that many a man fell into lust and evil thinking, and many a woman into veil and contemptible condemnation,  while watching that booty call. The highlight of the parade was watching the balloons maneuver under the traffic lights and take the corner at Peachtree and International.  It felt more like a small town Christmas Parade with dogs, clowns and high school bands.   At the game the chicken folks had put cute little cows at every seat, orange and blue shakers (both team's colors)  and pretty much off and on the whole game, they kept dropping little cows into the stands strapped into little parachutes.  What fun!   This by itself was worth the price of the ticket.  Obviously, I am easily entertained.  Throw into the mix that Auburn won, and actually did it looking very competent, with some offense and pretty good defense, and it was a joy to behold.  After the game we walked down to Underground Atlanta to watch the Peach Drop. I honestly can say that on any given day of my life I have never seen so much spandex stretched so far in so many directions.  Having seen so many rumps in tight fitting black stretch pants, sequined mini skirts and animal prints, I have renewed my pledge to the gym and yogurt.  In fact, it was enough to scare me into weights and Body Pump classes.  I will tape up my knees and suffer to avoid having my hips touch both sides of Peachtree Street at the same time. I swear on some women you had to look twice to know if they were going or coming. My prayer for New Year's will be world peace and Lord, please help me to avoid purple anything on back side for the rest of my life. Amen.