Help, I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up

After a little over 24 hrs with my three daughters and three grandsons, my house was very empty yesterday when they all headed home. We had talked and talked and I had answered a lot of Why? questions and What's that? from the young grandson. I decided I could use some down time myself. I skipped church and began cleaning out closets. My noon I had cleaned and cleared and thrown away things I had forgotten I had.  A little after lunch, I realized I had not spoken in almost 20 hrs.  About 4 p.m. I began to think that the rapture had come and Jesus hadn't called me.  I turned on Fox News knowing that if that was the story they would be carrying it. No terrorist attack or major catastrophe had befallen the human race.  I picked up my phone. Yes, there's that familiar dial tone. My cell had bars.  By 5 p.m. I was sitting on the porch with a glass of wine thinking about how many ways I could have died during the day and not been missed. I might have carried something to the attic and broken my neck on that faulty step. Slipped cleaning out the fridge and laid on the floor in a coma. Electrical problems ended my life while changing a light blub. A rattle snake got me in the garden.  I was mauled by a bear and bleed to death. By the second glass of wine I was beginning to feel sorry for myself.   I thought about my Momma and how she'd say, "Yes, I sat here all day and no one called me".  I always ignored her and changed the subject. Now I think about her growing up with l3 brothers and sisters, 5 children and scores of grandchildren and relatives and being married to the same man for over 50 years.  I can image the silence was deafening. Ok, I didn't die and really I enjoyed my day. But as I went to bed, alone, with 2 Tylenol PM and  thought about never having heard a single voice, said a word or seen another person all day I wished I had been a better daughter. That was pretty good wasn't it. I was taught "guilt trip" by a professional, My Mother.