No Jail Can Hold Her

Have you ever noticed that in books about small towns all the little shops have a cat?  The bookstore always has one named Sherlock or Shakespeare, the bakery has Muffin or Cookie.  Down the street the gift shop will have a couple with names like Hallmark or Ben Franklin and they roam at will and everyone feeds them.  Our PAR thrift store has Bob Cat. No relationship. But he is in charge.  Sometimes the town pets are dogs like Benji or Tramp as in the movies.  In my quaint little town the shop where I have my booth and work has an assortment of dogs. All rescues.  All kinds.  The guys who own Burnt Mountain Trading Company in Jasper are a couple who are both talented and at times eccentric. Tenderhearted when it comes to animals.  On the days I work the shop it is not unusual to find 4 -5 dogs sitting behind the counter with me. Often they will spend the day with me and even still be sitting, or sleeping there when I leave for the day. I am a shop girl-pet sitter of some sort. Its complicated but small townsy.  Anyway,  I have found that people seem to either live up or down to their names, but I have come to believe it is true of animals also. Behind the counter yesterday sat, well, actually slept,  Angel.  No problem, sweet, at times maybe a little bossy, but she is a Chihuahua so its only natural. Also a Halley, I assume named after the Comet who can be rather explosive. Sleeping peacefully was also Paris Hilton who likes to wear costumes and is a slight show off.  She seems to have calmed down quiet a bit with age and is fast becoming a little lady.  After a vacation trip to Alaska this summer, the guys got a new puppy and selected Juno as her name. But soon her name was revised to Lindsey Lohan. The guys seemed to think she was having problems distinguishing between "NO" and "Juno".  I believe she was already becoming her true self. I don't think she was confused, I think she is stubborn.  And now a dog who could have been a small, quiet town in the Alaska wilderness is a slut. I love her, don't get me wrong.  But if she could spend a few nights in jail I think she like Paris Hilton, would soon learn to behave. Last night as I was closing the store, she jumped into a chair and over a 3-4 foot counter and took off, out the door, into the dark, down the middle of Main Street in Jasper.  I knocked down prospective customers, locked the door and ran down the middle of the street dodging traffic, right behind her yelling "Lindsey Lohan, come to me girl.  Come home".  I am not sure yet what effect this will have on my reputation, either for good or bad,  but I do know that Lindsey Lohan and I will never quiet be on the best of terms again. When I finally caught her, she peed on me and by the time I had closed the shop, counted the money and turned off the lights, I thought I was having a heart attack. A xanax and a glass of wine 30 minutes later convinced me I was only having a panic attack, but should it happen again, it will be an attack all right, but one that may prove fatal for our Miss Lohan.  The legal system may be failing to teach her namesake to behave, but I won't.