Get Your Hillbilly On!

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and think "Where am I?".  And then I remember.  I live in the mountain of North Georgia.  I live in Jasper, end of the world as we know it, Georgia.  What Jasper lacks in cultural events, nice stores, a movie theater, a warm and friendly downtown with fine dining, a Fresh Market, Target or attractive men, it makes up for in.....well, its got a couple of real mountains in it.  And tons of deer, black bear and wild turkey.  Unlike Alabama where you pass a dead dog on the highway every few miles, here road kill sounds more like the meat menu in some Western Restaurant. We got your bear, deer, possum, hedgehog, groundhog, wild boar, turkey and squirrel. They have plenty of dogs here but most of them are chained up to a tree in the front yard. Recently I have taken to painting hillbillies on tin pieces in my small art booth.  My standard by line is embrace you inner hillbilly.  In a quest to say something funny about Jasper, I have come up with a list of ways to help me tell you about my town.  You know you are in Jasper when: l.Your neighbor has the taxidermist on speed dial. 2. The biggest mall in the county is Wal-Mart. 3. A personalized car tag means you made it yourself. 3. Blue book value of your truck depends on how much gas is in the tank. 4. Most family trees don't have a fork. 5. The directions to everyone's house has "then turn off the paved road". 6. Everyone has two outfits, one for church and camo. 7. The tattoo parlor offers financing on site. 8. The last words most of the guys around here ever yell are "hey, watch this!" 9. We have 8 full time pharmacies and 24 road side signs advertising pain clinics. 10. Raid is considered a condiment on the kitchen table.  And finally the number one thing I have found to be true in Jasper is that when the guys have a stag party, they actually bring a deer.