This past weekend was the most northern of all holidays, The Yankee Memorial Day. When I said this to my daughter, she looked at me like I was crazy, but I explained that my parents actually had grandparents that had fought and died in the Great War of Northern Aggression. I do celebrate Memorial Day in memory of WWI, WWII, Korea, Viet Nam, and all the other recent messes, but still cling to Confederate Memorial Day in my heart because as a child I loved taking yard cut flowers to Elementary School and crying around the flag pole. In celebration of the Day, I went to God's Country. My friends in Georgia know I mean Alabama. If Alabama is God's Country, and I have no doubt that it is, Lake Martin is God's bathtub. You couldn't ask for more pristine water or a more beautiful and peaceful setting. Until my recent unpleasantness with my now ex husband, I had never had a bad moment, an unpleasant memory or unlucky day on Lake Martin. Growing up on Lake Martin is part of my heritage as a Southern Belle and it definitely shaped my thoughts on what is proper, fitting and downright Southern. For those of you who are not so blessed to be Southern I have made a few notes to help you through what I no doubt is part (or a handicap) of your upbringing which makes "us" Southerners say, "You just weren't raised right". First of all, y'all is both singular and plural, so if the shoe fits, buy it and apply it. At Lake Martin I learned the following:
l. In a room of Southerners, when given time, half will learn that they are related, if only by marriage.
2. Only Southerners order "sweet tea" and ask for "sweet milk".
3. A true Southerner knows you can say anything, about anybody, at anytime, if proceeded by "bless their hearts" and followed by "God love 'em".
4. A true Southern lady can make friends while standing in line, anywhere, and with anyone. Especially at the Ladies Room in Jordan Hare Stadium.
5. A true Southern lady loves a man in uniform, military, police officer or fireman. And Rhett Butler. But not necessarily in that order.
6. Only a Southerner can have a hissie fit or a connipition fit, and understands that you "pitch" them.
7. Only a Southerner understands that grits are the fifth food group and that they are suitable to serve at breakfast, lunch or dinner; e.i. breakfast, dinner, and supper. I have tried a grit pie for dessert by even I have had to draw the line there.
8. If a Southern gent says "Gimme some Sughar" he ain't asking you to pass the bowl.
9. If you are a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals, pour gravy on it and go to Bear's grave and ask forgiveness.
l0. If any of you didn't understand this, well, bless your hearts, I am fixin' to have a class on Southern as a second language, and God love ya'.
My thanks to Susan for an email that inspired this and my family who shared Memorial Day with me at the Lake!
God love ya' Mom!
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