Playing a Hunch and Wishing I Hadn't

I have a confession to make.  I am  pretty good at hunches.  Not the kind that helps you win the lottery or pick a good horse at the track, not even pick a good husband or a pair of shoes that won't kill your feet; but  the kind that helps you catch a man cheating and know when someone is lying to you. Case in point, I knew my ex was dating someone. I have always believed in going with the gut on things, following your instincts and if those fail, hire an investigator.  Usually though you can just be sneaky and find out what you need to know. I just knew my ex had a girlfriend, so of course I tricked him into admitting it. I would tell you how but then I would have to shoot you, and I probably don't even know where most of you live. So I trick him and find out the truth.  Then I am sick because now I know what I knew I knew all along but wished I didn't know what I now know. If that's hard to read image how hard it was to type. Since my alimony is late it gave me the perfect reason to bitch, moan and otherwise lash out at him. Its not that I care, its just that I am jealous. No, not of the girl, but the fact that men can always find someone. I recently read about a study where pictures of men where shown to women and they were to rate them. Consistently men who were rated 3 or 4, rated themselves as an 8 or 9.  The opposite proved true with women. Beautiful 8s or even l0s, rated themselves poorly. Men just think they are God's gift to women and over and over, we stupid women pretend to agree.  I found myself sitting around singing that song from Funny Girl "I'd Rather Be Blue Thinking of You, I'd Rather Be Blue Oooover  Yooou, Than  Be Hap-hap-happy With Somebody E-llllll-se".  After the tongue lashing I sent a "I'm sorry" letter.  I explained to him that I am just not doing well dating.  I find that my choices are either Mountain Men like Jeremiah Johnson (not played by Robert Redford) or Hillbillies like that Get 'er Done Guy(played by the Get 'er Done Guy).  You know if I am finding the Gay Guys the most appealing for me, there's a problem in my dating future. I told him if he met someone he thought I might like, to please give them my number.  I am really more than willing to be happy with someone else.  As to the young woman he's dating, I can certainly understand why she would want my ex.  He is just too good a catch to pass up.  He's just started Medicare and his Social Security checks are arriving monthly and he's a habitual cheater. What's not to like!